


of elvish gems and the unrest of thorin oakenshield

by sarisa



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, so you get it in English, warning for language that I was too ill to translate into Khuzdul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3195044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarisa/pseuds/sarisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fic response to a(n old) Tumblr post about how things would have changed had Thorin been told that the Arkenstone was actually a Silmaril and thus made by elves. Sort of crack... but probably not that far off the mark, all things considered?</p>
            </blockquote>





	of elvish gems and the unrest of thorin oakenshield

"I think- I think it might be- an elvish... stone... that is... the elves... may have... made it... maybe..."

Thorin spends a long moment staring at the glimmering stone in his hand, and then looks back at Ori, who seems to shrink in place at the thunderous stare directed at his person, sending sidelong looks to the others on the battlements. 

"It's just- it's only what I've read, that's all, I thought- perhaps- Bilbo said it was!"

Thorin looks to Bilbo, who shrugs with the calm of a scholar who's done his research and looked at all the available facts and this is his opinion and he's probably right, thank you very much. "I was very interested in Elvish history as a young hobbit. It seems to fit with the story, that's all. Can't say for sure, of course."

Thorin is silent, his eyes ticking back down to the stone in his hand, and then he snarls. Everyone present takes a half-step back to avoid the spittle.

"Elvish FILTH!" With this proclamation, the Arkenstone is thus recognized as one of the three famed Silmarils, whether it actually is or not (it probably is, but the facts are rather irrelevant at the moment). He turns, chucking the gem over the battlements in a toss worthy of the best of cricket bowlers.

It catches the sunlight as it arcs through the air, golden light momentarily blinding those watching both on the battlements and below. This is especially unfortunate for the one standing below it, for Thranduil Oropherion is thus unable to move out of the gem's path before it hits him in the forehead with a *CLONK*. The impact knocks him back over the rump of his Battle Moose, and the subsequent clatter of his armor and limbs hitting the ground sends the noble Battle Moose into a panic amongst the soldiers, scattering them out of the way like dominoes.

Whilst swearing in Khuzdul is satisfying in a visceral way, Thorin this time chooses to express his feelings to Thranduil in a way that all present can appreciate. For the sake of the histories no doubt being written preserving this moment, of course. No other reason.

"HAVE YOUR FUCKING WHITE SPARKLING JEWEL AND MAY YOU CHOKE ON IT WHEN I SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR BONY ARSE THAT IT ENDS UP IN YOUR THROAT."

If the King Under the Mountain is perhaps a bit torn up over the loss of his so well-loved possession, no one dares to remark upon it. In fact, there is complete silence from all present, excepting the elves that are attempting to stand up from where they'd been knocked down by the Battle Moose, and Thranduil himself, who is levering himself to his feet with the help of several retainers in a rather un-elvish manner (read: his bum is in the air).

On the battlements, Dwalin slowly begins to clap. Next to him, Balin begins to feel a migraine coming on.

Thorin turns on his heel and stalks back into the mountain, muttering about how he has to wash his hands, and probably burn his gloves. 

Dwalin points out helpfully that he'd also kissed the jewel.

Thorin acknowledges that he will have to scrub his mouth with lye.

**Author's Note:**

> See the tumblr thread here @ http://sarisa-rahe.tumblr.com/post/108466841648/bewareofdragon-bending-sickle


End file.
